In The Spotlight
by Fallen1389
Summary: Stevie, bass player for her band Gravity5 and secret music writer has always been in the background. No one really sees her excpet her best friend and secret crush Zander. Things seemed to be looking up for Senior year with the BandofAges contest coming up, but when new girl Molly sweeps everyone Stevie cares about away, it's time for her to stop being in the back and step out.
1. Chapter 1

This wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was supposed to get a happily ever after, just like everyone else did. I guess my fairy godmother just didn't want to show up. Zander and I were happy, very happy actually. We were best friends, been that way since we were two. We did everything together, learned how to walk, played our first instruments, started a band, walked home, everything. I've always had a crush on him, it was hard not to. He was funny, kind, and always knew what I needed. It was just extra points that he was handsome, but that's not why I like him, I've liked him since were eight when he took a punch in the face for me when the bully pushed me.

"Hey! You can't do that to MY best friend!" he had yelled.

The bully laughed. "Oh yeah? What're YOU going to do about it?"

Zander pushed him but the bully quickly went right up to him and punched him giving him a black eye for weeks. That's when I started appreciating him so much.

Things between us were inseparable. He was a flirt, no question about it, but there was never a time he wouldn't ditch the girl just to help me out. We were a team. During the summer Zander and I hung out a lot, more than everyone else in the band. We always found ways to talk to each other. In eighth grade when everyone got their cellphones, Zander and I created our own way of communicating. Our houses were side by side and we could see each other's room from our windows. We took pieces of paper and would write on them to talk. It was our way of making everyone else the outsiders instead of us.

Senior year and everything changed. The first day of school just ended and Zander and I were walking home. We were just talking about the new music we were thinking about doing for the band.

"Why don't you write songs for us?" Zander asked.

"That's your job. You'd be useless to us if I took your job." I joked back.

"Hey, I'm the guy that brings in all the fans. I mean with these good looks and my awesome diversity with instruments, girls just can't resist but come to our gigs."

I laughed. "Confidence is attractive, cockiness is a turn off."

Zander laughed and gave a _Me? Cocky? No _look.

His smiled faded and he looked at me so intently I got scared.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

He quickly snapped back to normal and smiled. "yeah, you just had a leaf in your hair."

I reached my head to find the leaf but then Zander but reached out his hand and grabbed it. Our fingers brushed against each other and I couldn't help but feel the beautiful buzz that I felt every time he touched me.

He looked at me again with that same intense look on his face but this time I didn't say anything. He took my hand and leaned in slightly. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster the closer he got.

"Stevie…" he whispered.

A honk from a nearby car made us jump apart. Everything seemed to go back to normal after that. We went on walking talking about nothing like we usually did, as if nothing happened but a part of me wished something did.

The next morning Zander came over for breakfast right before we left to school. Everything was normal between us. He acted as if nothing happened, I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed.

"You ready to go?" I asked.

He nodded. "Race you to the band room?"

"You're so on."

We both grabbed our bags and ran to school. By the time we go to the band room we were out of breath.

The room was in the school basement that we got permission to use after hours of convincing done by yours truly.

I touched the door just before he did. "I win!"

"Well you know what? I'm a sore loser." He picked me up bridal style and threw me onto the couch.

We couldn't stop laughing, soon after, our friends and band mates, Kacy, Grace, Kevin, and Nelson walked in.

"hey" I greeted.

"So what're you guys up to" Kacy said with a wink.

"nothing really, we just got here a minute ago." Zander replied.

The boys left to do whatever they do and Kacy and Grace looked at me.

Grace shook me. "when are you guys going to go out? The anticipation is killing me!"

I laughed. "We're just friends, nothing more, he doesn't like me that way."

Kacy groaned. "are you kidding me? You guys do everything together, you're hardly ever apart."

"You guys are being ridiculous. Is this because you just want your stupid little band dating thing to come true?"

Grace laughed a little. "No, well maybe a little but come on! It's be so cool! Me and Nelson are together, Kacy and Kevin are together, now all that's left is you and Zander! Besides, regardless of the band dating thing, you guys are happiest when together, why can't you just open your eyes! Besides, he's the sweetest person when you're around."

"Guys, he doesn't like me that way, besides, he's a flirt, and I'm not a fan of players. Now can we move onto class?"

First period chemistry was boring, always was. I just sat there writing in my song book. I wrote songs all the time, it was my way of releasing emotions. No one knows I write songs, they just think I'm a bass player, except Zander, he knows I'm more than a bass player, he knows I play acoustic and piano, he even taught me how to play the ukulele. He doesn't know I write music though, that's personal, too personal.

Second period went by quickly. Zander met up with me at my locker and put his arm around me. We walked to the lunch table where the band already was but there was another person sitting there too.

The girl sitting there was pretty, but fake in a way, like Barbie fake.

Zander dropped his arms wrapped around me. "Hi."

"Hey." She said in a flirty voice. "I'm Molly, you must be the famous Zander I hear about. All the girls did tell me you were cute but they didn't tell me you were this good looking."

Zander just smiled at her, the same way he smiled at me. He quickly took the seat beside her.

Kacy and Grace looked up at me. I put a smile on my face. "Hey, I'm Stevie."

She looked at me quickly said hi and turned her attention back to Zander. Lunch ended and Zander and I had English.

"Aren't you coming to class?" Grace asked.

"Yeah, I'll wait for Zander." I replied.

She smiled and walked off, but when I looked back to Zander he was already walking away with Molly, his arms around her shoulder.

I quickly turned away and walked off to class, I sat down beside Grace.

"Where's Zander?" she asked.

"With Molly somewhere." I could hear the disappointment in my voice.

"Don't worry Stevie, things will go back to normal, you guys are still walking home together." The thought of that put a smile on my face.

After school, I waited for Zander in the parking lot like we always do. Soon a pink convertible came up beside me.

I looked over to see Zander in the passenger seat while Molly was driving.

"Hey Stevie, I'm getting a ride from Molly today." He said

"I'd give you a ride but there's no room." Molly replied. I looked back at the empty seats in the back. With that she drove off.

I walked home alone for the first time in twelve years.

I told Kacy what happened and ten minutes later her and Grace were at my house. They knocked on my door while I was doing homework.

"I can't believe he ditched you!" Kacy said

"I'm so mad at him right now!" Grace yelled.

"Guys, it's fine, he didn't really ditch me, we never actually made PLANS to walk home together, we just do." I replied.

Kacy looked at me. "Don't defend him, you know damn well what he did was wrong."

"I can't believe one pretty girl and he just turns into her slave." Grace said.

I couldn't bear hearing anything about him and Molly. "don't worry about it, it's not like he's never dated before."

"But he's never ditched you for another girl before Stevie." Grace pointed out. I shrugged it off and told them not to worry, I'm sure it was just the shock of a new girl, I hoped.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning expecting to see Zander at the breakfast table but he wasn't there. I ate slowly waiting for him to show up. _Maybe he just got caught up at home_.

I walked to school and went to the band room only to find everyone there, including Molly who was sitting on Zander's lap. They were all laughing at something Molly said.

"Hey guys." I said they looked up at me and greeted me; everyone except Zander. Molly looked at me with a smug smile plastered on her face. I went to class early, not really talking to anyone. Lunch came along and Zander didn't meet me at my locker, I walked to the lunch table and there he was. Molly right beside him.

"Stevie! You'll never believe this! Molly has passes to see the new Prada line for this weekend and she's bringing everyone along!" Grace screamed.

"Oh, that's awesome!" I said back. Grace Kacy and I were all jumping excitedly.

"Actually, you can't come." Molly said. We stopped jumping. "I only have six passes, two for each couple, you'd just be a seventh wheel." She leaned over to Zander and kissed him.

I didn't say anything, I looked at everyone as they looked down. No one was going to defend me. I looked at Zander, he didn't even look me in the eye.

I walked away, I didn't know where to but I just needed to be away. We had band practice that day, when I walked into the band room everyone was already practicing… with Molly singing lead playing bass while Kacy sang background. But all I could see was Molly playing bass, MY bass part.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Molly's going to be our new lead singer! She's amazing!" Zander exclaimed.

"But Kacy's our lead singer."

"It's fine, I like singing backup, gives my vocals a rest." Kacy said, but I wasn't convinced.

"Are you kidding me?" I yelled.

"Problem?" Molly asked. Just daring me to say something.

"None at all." I grumbled.

"Well since you were late, I had to step in and play bass, I think it's only fair you sit this out." Molly said.

"What!?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Zander?" I looked at him pleading for help.

He looked away. I couldn't believe what was happening "fine." I grabbed my stuff and left. I ran home wiping tears from my eyes.

Days went on with no change, Zander would talk to me but then Molly would come out of nowhere and take him away. One day at band practice I got fed up with it.

"Stop stop stop. Stevie, you're so off beat it's not even funny." Molly said

I knew damn well that I hit every note perfectly. I stayed silent.

She continued. "you know, if you can't handle the bass to this new song then maybe I should play it. It's the best thing for the band."

"I played every note perfectly!" I exclaimed. "I've been playing bass for this band since it started."

"Things change." She said.

I was about to say something. But Zander interrupted me, I was glad he was finally actually going to say something for once. I knew he wouldn't let me down. "Stevie, just let her play bass for this one practice, see what would happen." that's not what I expected to hear.

I looked at him with a hurt expression; I sat there on the couch just listening to them fighting back tears.

The next day at lunch I saw everyone talking intently. When I walked up everyone was silent. They all looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"We've come to a decision." Molly said. Everyone looked away from me. "since we don't need you anymore, you're out of the band. You're just taking up space."

"You out of all people can't kick me out of the band. Zander and I are the ones who created it." I said trying to pull back my tears.

"it was a group agreement."

"well I'm sure they weren't the ones who came up with the idea." I glared at her. "only a real bitch can think of something like that."

She glared at me and sat back down beside Zander. I looked them. "Guys?" they looked away. I dropped my tray of food onto the table and walked away.

"Wait, Stevie, a farewell gift." I turned around and I saw Molly walk up to with her plate of spaghetti and pour it right onto my head. "That looks a lot better." She laughed and walked away.

None of them stood up to help me, they all just pretended like it never happened. I went to the washroom and tried to clean the mess. I decided to go home, I couldn't sit through the rest of the day like this. I walked out wiping the tears from my eyes when someone grabbed my arm.

"You okay?" I a familiar voice asked. Zander looked at me with the same concerned eyes he always did when I was upset, it almost made me forget everything. Almost.

"Just peachy." I replied trying to leave.

He blocked my path. "look Stevie, I'm sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen, I didn't want to kick you out of the band."

"Right, that's what you're sorry for, everything else, we'll just push aside." I could hear the sarcasm dripping out of my voice.

"Stevie, come on, Molly's just joking around, besides she's Molly, the most popular girl in the school."

"Remember when we didn't care about that stuff Zan?" I tried to pass him but he blocked my path again.

"Stevie, come on, it's been fifteen years of friendship, please don't throw it all away. We're friends, best friends please Stevie." He was pleading now.

"we are?" he looked at me hurt. "seems like you've already thrown it away Zan." It took everything I had to say those words.

"Stevie..." I cut him off

"stop, you've made your choice." With that I walked away letting the tears fall.


	3. Chapter 3

My phone had gone off at least thirteen times, each call from Zander, Kacy, or Grace. Every time it rang I wanted to answer it so badly but I couldn't I'd only be torturing myself for them to just give me their pity and fake friendship. I looked at my phone. 38 messages, I laughed. Now they care. I couldn't take it. I looked at the flyer beside my bed for the Band of Ages contest. Gravity 5 was already entered and I promised Zander I'd write one song for the contest. I guess I was breaking promises just like everybody else. I screamed in a fit of anger. No one was home to hear me. I threw all the song papers off my desk; I threw my bass in to the corner of my room. I started banging everything in the room. I saw the bear Zander won me at the fair last year on the top of my dresser. I just shoved it right off throwing it to the ground.

I heard glass hit the ground and saw a picture frame had fallen on the floor. I picked it up and cleared the shatter glass. It was a picture of me and Zander, arms around each other smiling into the camera from our camping trip last year. Looking at the picture I dropped to my knees and I couldn't help but cry again. I had to admit it. I loved him, I always have. There was no denying the feelings I had for him but I guess it came down to the question of whether is it better to love but not be loved in return or not to love at all? I put the picture back to the way it should be and cleaned up the glass.

If I was going to be angry and upset, I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of seeing me miserable. I'd get the grades and put a smile on my face, no matter what it took. I would apply to Juilliard's for music and Harvard medical just like I always planned. They might not miss me but I sure as hell wouldn't make it seem like I missed them.

I went on with school regularly. I didn't go in the band room anymore. I won't lie I missed them like crazy, Zander especially. It's weird not talking to him anymore, he still texts me. Thank god for the delete button, I might just be tempted to text back. I don't sit with them in class anymore, doesn't make a difference though, they look happy, they didn't miss me one bit. They just kept talking about the contest and how Molly would win it for them.

I was the best student in all my classes, it's not like I had anything to distract myself with like band practice, and I spent most my lunches in the library the only place I knew Molly wouldn't bring anyone. From what I've heard she started calling the group "the perfs" short for perfect. I laughed when I first heard their name. it was ridiculous, something Zander and I would've laughed at two months ago. The thought of Zander and I together just made my heart sink and I pushed the thought away. I've pretended to be so into my work that I didn't hear what Molly says about me and although none of my old friends would join in on her jokes they never stopped her either.

I wouldn't call what my life was at the moment living. I was just a body getting through every day. There hasn't been a night that I haven't cried myself to sleep yet. I would always just think about how everything was so great and how it went downhill. It all happened so fast that I would sometimes like to believe this was all a nightmare and I would wake up one morning with Zander waking me up on my bed and race me to school again.

The hardest part of all this was I couldn't find my passion for music anymore. Music was always my way of keeping my mind leveled but I just didn't have any more energy to write anymore. Every time I would look at my guitar I would just get that feeling in the pit of my stomach. There was always a thought in my mind saying, what's music to you without anything or any to write for. My songs aren't good enough for anyone; Zander even stopped believing in me.

I trudged through my day, my chemistry test was easier than I thought. I looked over at Grace stuck on the eighth question, it was multiple choice but a hard one. People like to believe that multiple choice as easy since the answer is technically right in front of you but you only have a 25% chance of getting it right, the odds aren't exactly high. Thank god I studied last night because for s student who didn't they wouldn't have a chance of passing.

She looked around the classroom with panic in her eyes. I knew her parents were strict. They would constantly compare her grades with that of her older brother who was a gifted student. Her eyes came on me and I put my hair behind my ear. She looked at me in surprise. I did it again. It was our signal for the letter C. We had signals for tests so we could help each other out. Grace circled the letter and moved on. Time was up and we handed in out tests.

"Thanks." I heard Grace say behind me as I was walking out. "you're a real friend."

I didn't turn around, I couldn't bare it. "one of us have to be." I walked away without turning around. I was weak. I couldn't just leave her alone like I was supposed to. Part of me was happy I could help but I mentally slapped myself in the face. This wasn't helping me get over them.

The rest of the day went on as usual. My classmates knew to stay away from me, talking to me is social suicide. Molly ran the school now. I went to the library finishing my yogurt and went back to reading on music history. There was soon a shadow looming over me and I heard the seat across from me moving. I looked up to see Zander sitting across from me. I kept a straight face but could feel every part of me crumbling from the inside.

"Stevie, can we talk?" he looked at me with his puppy dog eyes that I loved.

I just kept my straight face. "You had two months to talk." I began packing my stuff.

"Stevie wait! Please! Don't ignore me again." I could hear the pain in his voice. I couldn't let myself crack, the longer stayed the more it hurt, and the closer I was to breaking down.

"I already told you, you made your choice. Live with it." I walked away without turning around. I began walking so fast I was running, past the cafeteria where I could hear Molly yelling something at me, past the basement doors, and straight to the back of the school where I cried. I thought I was finally getting the hang of it, of my new life but I wasn't. I sat there and cried through the lunch bell, and right past the next period bell. I wiped my tears and walked off home.

When I walked through the front door I heard my mom in the kitchen.

"Stevie is that you? Did school let out early?" she's been oblivious to everything that's been happening. She asked why Zander was never around anymore and I just told her we were too busy studying for our college admissions to hang out anymore. She thought I was only in my room and distant because I was studying so hard. I couldn't tell her what was happening, it'd just be more pity that I didn't want.

"no, I wasn't feeling well so I came home early."

"Oh are you okay?" she asked concern filling her voice.

"yeah, I'm fine, I just need some sleep." I went straight up to my room and fell asleep wishing, I was okay, but the truth is; I'm not.


	4. Chapter 4

I skipped school the next day. I told my mom I wasn't feeling well.

"Do you want me to stay home today?" she asked

"No, it's fine." My mom left and I was sitting in my room, alone. This was the first time I've ever truly felt alone, Zander's always been there to help me when I needed it, so what do I do now that he's the problem?

Lying in my bed I looked over at my guitar. I haven't played it in two months. I picked it up, sitting it on my lap. I strummed a chord and heard the familiar sound. I put it down and felt a tear trickle down my cheek onto my guitar. I missed music so much. I hated how Molly ruined it for me; I hated how Zander betrayed me and didn't even defend me, my supposed best friend. I put the guitar away and wrapped myself in my covers as if that would keep the bad things from happening.

I don't know how long I slept for but I was awoken by a movement on the bed. I opened my eyes to see a person in a full military uniform sitting on the foot of the bed.

"Evan!" I hugged him holding him closely. Out of all my brothers Evan and were always the closest. "I was so scared I'd never see you again."

My brother joined the military right after high school, after that I never got to see him much. The last time I saw him was a year ago.

"I'd always come back just to see you Stevie." He hugged me back and I could feel the wetness on my cheeks from crying but for the first time it was from happiness. "God, I missed you Steves."

"I missed you too." I wiped the tears from my eyes. I was terrified he wasn't coming back. He's already done three tours and once came back home with battle scars like no tomorrow. It scared me to see him go back out.

"Thank god Matt's getting married next week or else I wouldn't have an excuse to come home." He said laughing. Matt's my other brother who was marrying his three year girlfriend Michelle. "So, what are you doing home?"

I leaned against my wall still sitting on my bed. "I wasn't feeling well."

"You didn't miss school when you were younger when you had a fever, no way is that the reason." He knew me better than I knew myself. "Come on buddy, what's wrong?" I looked at me with concern.

I sighed and laughed at myself a bit. "What isn't?" I brought my head back to the wall so I was looking up. "I don't even know where to start."

He patted my arm and I told him everything, every little detail, from when we raced that first morning to when he tried talking to me in the library. I touched my cheek but to my surprise there were no tears. I guessed I cried myself dry. I wasn't sure if I should take that as a good or bad thing.

I couldn't read Evan's expression. He pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry this happened to you."

"I just don't know what happened. I always though Zander and I were closer than this you know? That we would always be there for each other and never ditch each other for some other person. What did I do wrong?"

"You did absolutely nothing wrong. You're one of the bravest people I know, to go to school every day and see them. Especially telling him what you did in the library. We'd be lucky if half the soldiers in the army had even a quarter of the courage you have." He brushed my bangs away. "I don't know what's gotten into him right now but trust me, real friendship can withstand the toughest of conditions, and surviving it is what makes it strong. Sometimes you need to be away from someone to really show how much they mean to you. If he can't see that then he was never worth it." I smiled for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Thank you Evan." I whispered it to him as I hugged him. I missed having him around to talk to.

The next morning I got ready for school.

There was a knock on my door. My mom walked in. "are you feeling better?"

I looked in the mirror and smiled. "Yeah." And for once I wasn't lying. Things were still the same, I still wouldn't call myself living but I felt better, not about everything that's happened but about myself. The whole time I pitied myself because I didn't think I was worth being cared for which is why they left me so quickly. Looking at myself now though, I had more confidence in me and if they didn't want me anymore then it's their loss. This wasn't a great start to a solution but it was a start.

I walked out of the door after giving Evan a hug. "good luck." He whispered in my ear.

When I entered the school I went to my locker to grab my chemistry text book. Beside my locker was Zander and Molly. Every other day they would be there so Molly could bother me. When I saw them my happy mood went down a little but I took a breath and felt a bit better. I still loved Zander, I knew a part of me always will, but I knew Evan was right, if Zander didn't see me for what I was worth then I needed to stop moping around and waiting for him chase me back, I've already done enough waiting.

"So I didn't see you yesterday." Molly said to me. I tried ignoring her. "Guess you didn't realize you were better off gone and dying from whatever disease you have." I looked at her with a straight face. "I'm glad you're feeling better though." She gave me a fake evil smile.

I smiled. "thanks, I'm feeling A LOT better." I looked at Zander. I saw a glimpse of the smile he use to always have before Molly. I didn't bother to wait for what he had to say. I closed my locker and went off to first period.

I sat down at my desk and let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. Seeing Molly and Zander together still felt like a knife to my heart. I missed him and everything we would do together and telling him my problems so he could console me, but this time seeing them seemed like the cut wasn't as deep, and the knife was duller. I still didn't have friends and I was still miserable but now I wasn't as miserable.


	5. Chapter 5

The week went by quickly. I didn't talk to any of them. I missed them but I put on a brave face. I haven't cried yet in the past two days and I had to admit, I was proud of myself. I was still hurting, there was no denying that but I was slowly healing. Zander came up to talk to me once at the library again but I just walked away. I patted myself on the back for doing that. It was hard, I wanted to just forgive him, but I knew even if I did things wouldn't change and I deserved so much more.

Matt's wedding was this Saturday, it was Friday when I realized I didn't have a dress. I've been so caught up in everything going on in my life I forgot to get one. It's fine I guess, I'll just drive out to mall and get one.

After school I quickly got out of class and drove to one of the biggest malls in the state. I walked around in a few stores including stopping by the music store for some new strings on my acoustic. I've been looking for hours now and I just couldn't find anything I liked but on the other hand I was never very good at shopping for things like this. Kacy always helped me. I pushed the thought away, I was doing such a good job this week I wasn't about to let myself slip again. I walked into another dress store and looked around. Everything I tried on just looked so… bad. I couldn't think of another word other than that, but it was true, all the dresses I tried on didn't compliment me at all. The only one that wasn't bad was a tight black one that showed a little too much boobage and leg. I quickly took it off. I looked around again this time just pulling anything out.

I went back into the change room. I pulled out a red dress that I picked up because the colour caught my eye. It was a very bold rich red. I tried it on closing my eyes before I turning to the mirror. I opened my eyes slowly and couldn't believe what I saw. I looked gorgeous, I hated saying it myself but I couldn't help but smile in this dress. I truly felt pretty for once. It was a delicate silk mousseline backless gown, with a draped bodice, and waistline definition. It hugged me in all the right places and felt light. It really emphasized my petite size while not being too tight. I loved it. I didn't even want to try on the other dresses. I bought the dress and left. By the time I got home it was past eleven so I took a quick shower and went to bed.

The next morning I had to wake up early. I slipped into the dress and put on a pair of black heels. I went downstairs where my parents and Evan were waiting for me. When they saw me my dad and Evan gave me a look of approval while my mom cupped her hand over her mouth and looked to be on the verge of tears.

"I know this is supposed to be Matthew and Michelle's day but honey you look gorgeous in that dress." My mom said smiling.

"Thanks mom." I gave her a hug. We all left for the church while my brother joked about Matt being in a Tux. I mean you don't know Matt, he's all about the t-shirts and khakis, he didn't even wear something formal for his own graduation. This was going to be interesting.

The church they were getting married in was huge. There were a pair of stairs that we were supposed to ascend from that led to the red carpet leading up to the alter. I talked to my brothers upstairs while we were waiting for everyone to arrive.

Matt was pulling on the collar of his dress shirt. "This is so tight and annoying."

I laughed. "you can loosen the tie you know." I reached up and helped him adjust the tie.

"Thanks." He didn't look much more relieved.

"nervous?" Evan asked in a joking way. It was clear Matt was ready to pee his pants.

"yeah, but with a mix of excitement." Matt replied relaxing a little.

Everyone was in the church taking their seats and waiting for the event to begin.

The preacher stood at the alter signaling for us to get ready.

Evan looked at me. "ready?"

"more than I'll ever be." I said while letting out a breath.

The music started and I heard the presenter announce my parent's names. They walked to the platform at the top of the stairs and walked down lining up right before the alter.

"Matthew Baskara's brother; Evan Baskara." The announcer said.

Evan walked down to the platform and then joined my parents.

"Matthew Baskara's sister; Stevie Baskara." I almost didn't hear my name. I walked to the platform and looked down at everyone who all looked at me in awe. I walked down the stairs to the carpet. I looked around and caught my breath. Zander was here looking as handsome as ever in his white dress shirt and black suit. I kept my eyes locked on his; he was staring as intently as he did that first day after school. As I kept walking I saw big boobs and a tight dress beside him. Arms went and wrapped themselves around his and I met with Molly's smug smile. I quickly looked away and took a breath taking my place beside Evan. Evan leaned down to me. "don't let it bother you bud." He whispered.

Matt came down next. He looked good a suit, I don't see what he was complaining about. He had a smile on his face, a real one. I was happy for him, Michelle was an amazing girl and he was lucky. The smile on his face showed everyone that he knew he was lucky too. He walked up to the family and gave each of us a hug. When he got to me he picked me up in a bear hug and we laughed getting some laughter from the crowd too. He took his place on the alter.

The announcer introduced the Best Man, grooms, Maid of Honour, bride maids, and Michelle's parents. When he announced Michelle's name we all looked up. She stopped on the platform to let everyone see her. She looked beautiful. She looked like Cinderella had finally got her happy ending. It wasn't just her dress and beauty that made her glow, it was her pure happiness that you could see radiating from her. I always liked Michelle, she was the sister I never got to have. She would always jump at the opportunity to watch chick flicks with me or talk about boy problems, I really liked having her around and was ecstatic to have her part of the family. She walked down the aisle hugging her parents, she later turned to my family and gave each of us a hug. She joined Matt on the alter smiling up at him. My family took our place beside the grooms, while Michelle's family with the bride maids. The ceremony was beautiful as they said their vows and were pronounced husband and wife.

After pictures we all went out to the back of the church for the reception in the church gardens. After the cake cutting, first dance, and father daughter dance, everyone started dancing on the dance floor. I sat at my table watching Evan dance with one of his old friends when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a boy who looked only a year or two older than me smiling. "Hi, I'm Cole."

"Stevie." I replied.

"I know." He said quickly, I gave him a weird look. "no, not like I know in a stalking way, I mean I know from when they announced your name, unless you think stalkers are cute or something, but if not then totally not a stalker." He was rambling, it was kind of cute.

I laughed. "it's fine, I get what you mean."

"Um, well I was going to ask if you want to dance. I mean I understand if you don't want to since you know you're you and looked great when walking down the aisle and everything, and you don't even know me…" I kept on laughing.

"I'd be honoured to dance with you." I said as he took my hand.

We danced together through a few songs and I had to admit, I was having a bit of fun however I felt guilty. Cole was a great guy, but there was a part of me that wished it was Zander I was dancing with. As if on cue Molly dragged Zander onto the dance floor next to us. I tried my best to ignore them. I saw Evan give me a thumbs up and I rolled my eyes in response. A slow song came up and I wrapped my arms around Cole's neck while he placed his hand on my waist. He twirled my under his arm and I laughed. "I see someone's got some moves." I joked.

He laughed shrugging his shoulders. "My mom made me go through ball room dancing when I was younger, I've got to tell you though, it wasn't fun but it comes in handy."

"I'm so jealous, to think all I got to do as a kid was take guitar, and piano lessons." I replied. He twirled me again while we laughed. Soon someone bumped into us.

"oh sorry, I just didn't see where I was dancing." Molly said as she looked at me with that fake smile. She looked me up and down but didn't say anything; I took that as a good thing since it would mean she had nothing bad to say.

I looked at her in disbelief; she just couldn't stand giving me ONE happy moment. Soon Zander joined her. She was about to say something but the DJ cut her off. "Alright! Let's switch it up a bit, ladies and gentlemen, take the hand of the closest person to you that's NOT your dance partner. I looked around for someone else to dance with but everyone was taken. I didn't think I could survive a song dancing with Zander. A slow song began and I turned to see Zander there waiting for me, I couldn't find Molly anywhere.

"go dance with Molly, I'll just leave." I turned to walk off the dance floor but he grabbed me by the hand and spun me around putting his hands on my waist. I placed my hands on his shoulders trying to keep my distance. I wouldn't let myself go through all the pain again.

"You look great today Stevie." He was looking at me intently. "I really mean it."

I looked down. "thanks."

"Stevie, I really want to talk to you, please look at me." I could hear the sadness in his voice. I looked up. "I'm sorry Stevie, I really am, you're my best friend and I didn't mean for this to happen to you." I could feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes. "I miss you."

I pushed away from him at that moment and walked off. He grabbed my arm before I could get too far. "Stevie wait! Please!"

I turned to face him. "No Zander, I'm done waiting for you. Have you noticed that the only times you talk to me is when Molly's not around? Why is that? If I'm your best friend, then why is it that I feel like you're embarrassed to be seen with me when you're with her or the fact that you'll NEVER defend me? You know what though? You might think of me as your best friend but you're no longer mine." I could feel the tears going down my cheek. "Best friends don't ditch each other or let other people make fun of them. Best friends don't let each other cry every single night or not even defend her when she's kicked out of her own band. You're not my best friend Zander, not anymore."

He looked close to tears too. "Stevie I'm sorry."

I stopped him. "I wish that was enough, but it's not. I was wrong Zander, after all those years of friendship you didn't owe it to me to be a friend, you just owed it to me to be a decent human being." I shook my arm loose and walked off. I went to the front of the church.

"You okay?" I turned around to see Evan. He wrapped his arms around me for support as I cried on his shirt.

"I'm sorry, Evan, I thought I could handle it, but now I just ruined your night." I wiped my tears.

"You didn't ruin my night, I'm actually leaving soon. My leave of absence is over tonight, I need to be back tomorrow morning." I watched as a cab came by and stopped in front of us.

I felt tears fall. "You're leaving? Already?"

"Hey, don't worry." He wiped away my tears. "I'll be back soon." I never realized until now that so much of my strength this entire week was from Evan. I could my heart sink. He must've sensed it because he knelt down so he was eye level with me. "You are the bravest girl I know, Stevie. Don't let this ruin the great person you are. Don't you see? This whole things only made you a better and stronger person. The Stevie before would've forgiven Zander so easily, but you didn't. You thought without Zander it would destroy who you re but it didn't. You may have gotten a bit broken on the way but you built yourself right back up into someone who's so much more confident. You might not see it, but I do."

"I don't feel that way at all right now, Evan. Saying that to him was one of the hardest things I've had to do."

"I know but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and you're not dead Stevie, not even close. You can get through this because you're so much bigger than this. Life's a climb Stevie, but the view's great." He kissed my forehead as I hugged him goodbye. He went into the cab seat and it drove off into the dark until I couldn't see the backlights anymore.

When we finally got home I changed out of my dress into some pajamas and wrapped myself in my blankets. I looked at my guitar and turned my back to it. I curled up on my bed and fell to a deep sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up at the sound of my radio the next morning.

"Hey all you rock stars out there!" I opened my eyes rubbing them into focus. "We're catching you live at eleven on a Sunday morning bringing you great news! Well you know that Band of Ages contest? Rumor has it famous singer Josh Dragger is going to be there as a volunteer judge! If you weren't signed up now then you might want to go now!"

I jumped out of bed and ran to my computer. Josh Dragger was my favourite artist of all time, hands down. He wasn't like most teenage male artists. He sang about real things, not just about girls. His story of being a nobody singing on the street for money into a platinum selling artist inspired me. He always donates to charity and never ignores his fan. Although he was big and famous he was also the most down to earth artist I know. I turned on my computer to my favourite music site. There on the front page in big bold letters it said "JOSH DRAGGER AS GUESS JUDGE FOR BAND OF AGES!"

I read all the comments below, all of them stating how they're auditioning for the contest. The excitement almost made me forget everything that happened. I turned away from the computer. I mentally slapped myself in the face for getting my hopes up. I wasn't going, The Perfs would be there. The instant they saw me there the insults from Molly would just fly right out. I couldn't even enter the contest. Even with Molly corrupting them, they were good, really good. I spent a great deal of time making them that way. There was no way I'd be able to make a band and get them as good as The Perfs. Going would just give them more reason to make fun of me. I wasn't about to throw myself at them like a piece of meat after I worked so hard to forget about them.

I went and got dressed in a t-shirt and black jeans. While I was combing my hair there as a beeping noise coming from my computer. I walked over to see that I had a friend request on the music website. A message from MusicKing popped up.

_Hey,_

_Remember me from yesterday?_

I smiled. I didn't think Cole liked music as much as I did. Accepting the request I replied back.

_Me: Hey Cole._

_MusicKing: this isn't Cole, we didn't formally meet last night so it's not your fault you don't remember me._

_Me: Oh, I'm sorry, what's your name?_

_MusicKing: Where`s the fun in that? Come on, guess, if you guess it right then I'll tell you._

_Me: but if we didn't formally meet then how am I supposed to guess?_

_MusicKing: that's true, guess I get to stay a secret._

I laughed, this was interesting.

_Me: now, that's not fair. You know who I am but I don't know who you are._

_MusicKing: I see your point. Let's play a game of 21 questions. I promise to be honest._

I thought about what to ask.

_Me: okay, were you dancing yesterday? _

_MusicKing: yes I was._

I thought about everyone who was dancing yesterday, that just reminded me of dancing with Zander. I pushed the thought away. I wanted to forget him.

_Me: hmmmmm, how did you find me on the site?_

_MusicKing: do you remember when you and your band performed at the fair last year? You guys were amazing, I remember everyone making updates about you I just never had the guts to add you until now. You're a great bass player; I can't wait to see you in the contest._

I looked down at the keyboard. I didn't know how to reply.

_Me: actually I'm not in the contest. The band will be there but I'm not a part of it anymore._

_MusicKing: what!? Really? But you were the best person in the band! What happened?_

_Me: um, a lot of stuff came up this year. _I took a breath and clicked send.

_MusicKing: it's their loss, I'm sure they're regretting the decision now._

_Me: thanks._

_MusicKing: you can still enter though; you don't even have to be a band. Read over the rules, you can apply as just a singer. You should enter._

I read over the rules again and he was right. I could just apply as myself.

_Me: thanks, but no, all I can do is play an instrument, I don't sing._

_MusicKing: that's not true, I've heard you sing a little background. Give yourself some more credit. You can do it, I'm sure with your music talent you can write your own songs. I bet you that guy in the band. Zander, doesn't write without your help._

I didn't want to talk about it yet, not to anyone.

_Me: don't I still have 20 questions?_

Our conversation went on with us just talking about anything, mainly music. He was a nice guy. I wish I knew who he was so I could thank him for making me smile so much in one day. It was something that I haven't done in a long time. We started texting each other when we were away from the computer.

During class I would hide my phone in my book. There hasn't been a day where I haven't texted him. He made me smile, actually smile not because he was so funny but because it seemed like he actually understood me, saw me for who I really am even if I didn't know who I really was yet. The way we talked made it seem like I knew him for such a long time. How was it that I couldn't remember someone as amazing as him from the wedding? My phone vibrated snapping me out of my thoughts.

_MusicKing: you still there?_

While thinking I forgot to respond to his last message.

_Me: sorry, I was just thinking. Can I tell you something and you promise not to laugh?_

_MusicKing: I promise._

_Me: you remind me of someone I use to know, someone I was really close with. Ridiculous right? I'm laughing at myself right now._

_MusicKing: no, it's fine, who do I remind you of?_

I wasn't sure what to say, I decided to be honest, I trusted him.

_Me: you remind me of Zander. Just the ways you make me laugh and understand me. It reminds me of my old friendship with him._

_MusicKing: I see, may I ask what happened between you guys. I mean when I saw you last year you were such great friends, I mean it looked like you guys would do anything for each other._

I've never told anyone other than Evan what happened before, I always thought just ignoring it would be the easiest thing to do. I told him everything that happened, how I felt when I got kicked out of the band, how I felt betrayed by my own best friend. How I've cried every night because of how much I missed them and the worst part where my passion for music was gone and how I didn't think I could ever get Zander back, the way we used to be.

_MusicKing: Zander's an idiot. I'm sorry for everything that's happened and I wish I could be there to help._

_Me: honestly, you have. Making me laugh and just listening without judging. I know this is partly my fault too. He's tried to talk to me but I didn't want to hear it. It wouldn't change anything. He would still be with Molly and I would still be just another person. I couldn't let myself fall through like that again._

_MusicKing: I understand what you're saying. But I promise, everything will get better, Stevie. You're such an amazing person, sometimes things happen and you don't understand why but I know there's a happy ending somewhere in all this for you, you're too good of a person for there not to be. _

I smiled down at my phone.

_MusicKing: and music is something that's in you, you don't just lose it, especially someone with talent like yours._

_Me: I just… I can't. Every time I just even look at- I can't get myself to play music again._

I blinked away a few tears.

_MusicKing: I can't say I know exactly what you're going through but giving up on music's just another way of backing down to them. You can't do that. Screw what everyone else thinks and do what you want to do. Stevie, you're an artist, you feel emotion stronger than how someone else would but you can take that, take everything swirling around in your head and put it in your heart. Portray it through your voice and through your music. I believe you can do it, but it doesn't matter if I believe, you have believe in yourself_

I felt a smile creep onto my lips. The whole day I his words were stuck in my head. _Screw what everyone else thinks and do what you want to do… take everything swirling around in your head and put it in your heart... I believe you can do it, but it doesn't matter if I believe, you have believe in yourself_

I got home and sat on my bed staring at my guitar for what seemed like hours. Finally I picked it up and grabbed some sheet music lightly strumming it and humming. I felt different playing it, not like I did before when I was playing it for fun, but not with a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach either. I felt empowered just strumming away making new tunes and humming along. I didn't play music for anyone else anymore, this was all for me and picking up the pencil and writing everything on the paper felt better than ever. I felt like I was coming back a new person.


	7. Chapter 7

I stayed up for hours writing my song. I couldn't believe I went so long without my music. It felt so good to be writing again and this was probably one of the deepest songs I've ever written, but I guess considering the inspiration behind it, it should be. I turned my computer and logged on into my music account. MusicKing was online.

_Me: I need to thank you. You helped me find my music again._

_MusicKing: I didn't really do anything, I just told you what you already had._

_Me: but you helped me find it inside me again, so thank you. Anyways, I wrote a song and I was wondering if I could get your opinion?_

_MusicKing: I'd love to hear it!_

_Me: oh, I was just going to send you the music sheets…_

_MusicKing: HA! If you want my opinion I want to HEAR it._

I've never actually sang one of my songs to people before let alone sing for people. I mean sure I've sang background for Kacy but you can barely hear me and Zander was always helping me. Maybe it was time for things to change, I know I have, it's not a bad change either.

I set up my microphone into my computer. Speaking into it. "Can you hear me?"

_MusicKing: Loud and clear. Go for it._

I took a breath and strummed my guitar. When the first line was coming up I closed my eyes and took in another breath letting the word just flow out.

_Looking back on the things that found me  
Places that I'd never choose  
The same things that both haunt and heal  
My demons and my muse_

We are crushed and created  
We are melted and made  
We are broken and built up, in the very same way  
What I thought I could handle  
What I thought I could take  
What I thought would destroy me leaves me stronger in its wake

There are times that I'd underestimated  
Both the grief and goodness found in something new  
Where one thing dies, something else can be created  
Though its truth you find, its innocence you lose

I'm not the "me" that I started with  
My friends say my eyes are brighter  
I'm not the "me" that I started with  
I'm freer, and I'm wiser, and I'm stronger

We are crushed and created  
We are melted and made  
We are broken and built up, in the very same way  
What I thought I could handle  
What I thought I could take  
What I thought would destroy me leaves me stronger in its wake

It leaves me stronger

I stared at the screen as I finished. He didn't write anything the entire time and he still wasn't writing anything. He hated it. What was I thinking? I couldn't sing, I never should've just thrown myself out there to him like I did. He probably thought the song was terrible. He was probably laughing right now.

_Me: you can tell me you know? If it's really bad, I can take it._

He still didn't reply.

_Me: you're making me a little nervous here… please say something._

_MusicKing: I'm sorry, I'm in shock right now. That was AMAZING. You have an amazing voice and I could feel every word in your voice. It's an amazing song Stevie._

I let out a breath.

_Me: honest truth?_

_MusicKing: honestly, it was amazing._

Soon, an attachment file popped up. The application for the Band of Ages contest filled my screen. I quickly closed it.

_Me: I can't._

_MusicKing: why not? _

_Me: I don't want to._

_MusicKing: but you have something they don't. You have TALENT and you sing about stuff that's more than just about boys and girls. Your lyrics aren't abc rhyming, they're well written with emotion felt through every note._

_Me: that's only your opinion, not everyone else's._

_MusicKing: don't you trust my opinion?_

I didn't know what to say, what could I say? I stared at the screen, what WAS I afraid of?

_MusicKing: you're scared. You're scared that if you go out there people are going to see the real you. You've been hiding in the background for as long as you can remember and now you don't want to come out. You don't think people are going to accept you starting to be your own person so you let them take the stage and stand back so you can just try and please everyone. You can't let people push you around and make you feel like you're inferior to them. It's not a bad thing to let people give you some attention you know? So stop running from it and embrace every wonderful aspect you are._

I logged off. I closed the chat and turned off my computer. I quickly got changed and ran out of my house hearing the door slam behind me as I started to run. I ran half way into town when I stopped. It was a Saturday morning with the sun burning bright. I walked around the town for a bit. I didn't know where I was going, kind of just going where ever I wanted. I walked into my favourite café.

"Hey Stevie." Ms. Renolds, the waitress, greeted "I haven't seen you here in a while. Where's Zander? You guys are always together."

That hurt a little. "um, he's been busy lately."

"Ohh well that's too bad, because you guys hang out a lot. I mean I don't think I remember a time where you guys were ever alone. You were like inseparable. Go together like peanut butter and jelly."

"Just kill me now." I whispered.

"Pardon?" she asked, thank god she didn't hear me.

"Sorry, I said I'll have a vanilla latte with a plain bagel." I smiled up at her.

When she left I realized how right she was. There wasn't a time I came here without Zander, until today. She came back with my food but I lost my appetite. No matter what I did, I couldn't get him out of my mind. Who was I kidding? How could I be afraid of being my own person when all I've ever been known for is the girl beside Zander? I was never going to be anything different, it was my job to stay back and just let everyone else shine. Zander used to push me to be who I was until he realized I wasn't ever going to be that, he left me for Molly, someone who could stand on their own, someone who could even push me back further out of sight until I was no longer there.


	8. Chapter 8

I walked around in circles for hours. I finally went home let myself fall on my bed. i turned my head towards the computer. I wonder if MusicKing messaged me. No, I wouldn't think about him, but I let curiosity get the better of me and two minutes later I was logging back onto my computer. There was one email from him with only 3 words. _Go here tonight._ I looked at the attachment file. It was a ticket to some underground place. I printed out the ticket but stared at it. I wasn't sure whether or not to trust it. It was at a place I've never heard of before; I looked back at my computer screening thinking about why he sent this to me. I took a decided breath, I trusted him and I would go. I had nothing to lose.

I got changed into black jeans and tank top leaving the house not sure what to expect. What I didn't expect was an underground concert, but there I was listening to bands I've never heard of before. Some were good, some… not so good. I went to the bar and got a drink. While sipping it I looked around at everyone here, there were at least over 200 people but I didn't recognize anyone.

"Oh my god." I heard the guy beside me whisper. I turned around to see him staring right at me. "You're Stevie Baskara."

How does this person know me? I was starting to get scared.

"I saw you perform with Gravity 5! You were AMAZING! I can't believe I'm actually talking to you right now! I'm a huge fan of yours, you're my favourite band member of all time." He was practically jumping. Soon people turned around.

"It's STEVIE!" I heard one person yell. Everyone started crowding around us. People were yelling left right and centre telling me how much they loved my music or how I was there inspiration. They'd tell me how they wish I would have my own solo!

I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to say. "You guys know who I am?" I guess that wasn't what should've came out of my mouth but normally fans would come up to us and talk about how awesome Kacy's voice is or how cute Zander is. I never had people come up to me before, until now.

Some of them even knew about my break up with the band and they still stuck beside me. I couldn't believe it. "I didn't think I had fans like you guys." I talked to all of them about their music, some of them were even in band of ages.

"Did you enter? You know you can sign up as a solo? You'd be great! Kick _them_ in their asses and show them what they're missing." A girl said.

"I didn't enter. It's just not me, I don't really sing for everyone like Kacy does." I gave them a weak smile. I felt like I was disappointing them.

"You don't need them. All you need is you; you've been letting them shine for too long, now it's your turn. You can be your own person someone you've been hiding all this time."

I looked up when I heard that voice. It sounded so familiar with his encouraging tone. It sounded like Zander. I looked around but didn't see him.

"Sing us a song!" I heard someone yell. Everyone joined in. "Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!"

As they chanted I felt someone pushing me towards the stage. I struggled at first but I felt like I know this person pushing me, the way it fit on my back. It felt like Zander's. I turned around once I was on stage. I scanned the crowd and caught my breath when I saw the same curly short brown I would never forget. I couldn't see his face but I had that gut feeling that it was Zander.

My heart started beating uncontrollably. Part of me wanted to tell him how much I still cared but the other wanted to show him how mad I was at him. He left me for the dead. I could feel my anger building up. I wanted to show him how much I didn't need him anymore. How I no longer needed him to be the person I would hide behind, that even though they made my life a living hell I lived through their bullshit. All of it.

"This is a song inspired by some people I used to know. Hope you like it." I said into the microphone as I grabbed the electric guitar in the corner.

I started strumming hearing the song in my head. I opened my mouth and let my emotions create the lyrics.

_Insecure  
In her skin  
Like a puppet, a girl on a string_

_Broke away_  
_Learned to fly_  
_If you want her back, gotta let her shine_

_So it looks like the joke's on you_  
_'Cause the girl that you thought you knew_

_She's so gone_  
_That's so over now_  
_She's so gone_  
_You won't find her around_  
_You can look but you won't see_  
_The girl I used to be_  
_'Cause she's_  
_She's so gone_

_Here I am_  
_This is me_  
_And I'm stronger than you ever thought I'd be_

_Are you shocked?_  
_Are you mad?_  
_That you're missing out on who I really am_

_Now it looks like the joke's on you_  
_'Cause the girl that you thought you knew_

_She's so gone_  
_That's so over now_  
_She's so gone_  
_You won't find her around_  
_You can look but you won't see_  
_The girl I used to be_  
_'Cause she's_  
_She's so gone away_  
_Like history_  
_She's so gone_  
_Baby, this is me, yeah_

_She's so gone_  
_That's so over now_  
_She's so gone_  
_You won't find her around_  
_You can look but you won't see_  
_The girl I used to be_  
_'Cause she's_  
_She's so gone_  
_She's so gone_  
_You can look but you won't see_  
_The girl I used to be_  
_'Cause she's_  
_She's so gone_  
_So long_  
_She's so gone, she's so gone... gone, gone, gone._

Everyone cheered. Their screams echoed in my ears and it was something I would never forget. This feeling was the best moment of my life, like everything didn't matter anymore except the fact that I was here with all these people who believed in me.

I let out a long breath smiling and waving at everyone. I jumped down and someone handed me a flyer. A flyer for the Band of Ages. I said my goodbyes taking a last look around for Zander, or at least who I thought was Zander but when I walked outside and started for home there he was, with Molly at his side. I was wrong. That person in the underground wasn't Zander. He was with Molly the entire night.

I wasn't sure if I was disappointed or relieved, but I guess it didn't matter. In the end, it wasn't about them anymore; it was about me not being scared anymore.

"Aww, lonely Stevie walking all alone like the loser she is." Molly said as she got closer. I didn't say anything. I had nothing to say to them. I looked at Zander but he stared at me with his same blank expression he always does. "I'm talking to you." Molly shouted but I just kept on walking in my silence. "What nothing to say?" Molly asked trying to bait me as we were almost side by side. All I did was take the flyer and push it into Zander's chest walking away, not even look back to see him stumble back a little. I knew he was looking down at the flyer with Molly. A smile crept onto my face; bring it on.


	9. Chapter 9

I signed up the instant I got home. I re-read the contest rules. Every contestant had to send in an audio or video file of them singing for the judges there to either let them through to the first round or not. In total there will be eight rounds with a performance each where the judges get to decide who moves on and who doesn't, one week to prepare for each performance. Every week the audience gets to "save" one band/singer from elimination. When the last two performers are left they'll have one final large performance where the judges get fifty percent of the decision of who wins and the audience gets the other fifty. The winner gets a scholarship to the school of their choice and a recording contract to the largest music company in the world, Dynasty Records.

Only sixteen bands/singers make it to the first round where they will eliminate half of them. Every round after they will eliminate one performer after their performances. Already over 400 people have signed up. The odds of getting one of the sixteen spots was slim and I began to doubt myself, but before I could back out I already clicked enter and my application was sent, the only thing left for me was to write, produce, and sing a song that I would send to them. I had a lot of work ahead of me.

For three days straight I couldn't think of a song to sing. I wrote a lot but none that I thought would at least make me different from the other songs. MusicKing's been trying to help me out but I couldn't find something I was really passionate about that I could write about. He thought I should sing the song I sang to him but I wanted something they can relate to as well. My phone beeped with a text message. It was Zander. I threw the phone onto my bed in frustration. Why does he always do this? He'll talk to me in private but around everyone else it's like he's someone else, I'm sick and tired of it. It seemed everyone was doing that lately, pretending to be someone else while others were around, but I guess I shouldn't say anything, I used to be guilty of doing that too when I hid the real me from others. Why does it all have to be so complicated? I grabbed my pencil and wrote down that one word; complicated. I grabbed my guitar and started humming.

I spent all night making producing the music for the song. After I finally recorded it I flopped onto my bed. I sent in my song right before midnight, barely on time for the deadline. I fell asleep that night the instant I closed my eyes.

I didn't dream about Zander for once. I mean he was still in my dreams but it didn't revolve around him anymore. instead it was me, just standing there on stage and as I looked beside me there he was smiling back at me with that same smile he use to give me. The one I haven't seen since _she_ came along, but that's not it, everyone else was there too; Kacy, Kevin, Grace, and Nelson. They were all there with me as I stood in front of the microphone. They nodded at me in encouragement something I realized I missed from them, to know that they believed in me. I closed my eyes and looked into the audience but when I looked beside me again, they were gone.

I panicked a little, but after a while I felt calm. I looked into the audience again and there they were with Molly but I didn't get that terrible feeling in my stomach anymore, instead I started strumming my new song and sang to them, so they knew the song I wrote was for them, and even though they weren't beside me anymore, I realized I was okay with that, because I didn't need them to hold me up and encourage me, I was fine and could do it all on my own.

I woke up that morning clamer than I thought I'd be considering I just sent in my song and now had to wait for the results. The anticipation was killing me. The past two days I've been anxious. They were supposed to announce the top sixteen winners today on the radio today during lunch. Instead of the library I sat a table across from the Perfs. I had the radio on in my phone but Molly took out her stereo and played the station loud and proud so everybody could hear.

"Shut up everyone! I want you all to hear how I got into Band of Ages!" Molly shouted and everyone quieted down listening intently; including me.

Six bands were announced already as the radio played part of their song. They were good, really good, I sunk down in my chair. Who was I kidding? There was no way I made it. Soon Molly's voice was coming through the radio.

_When I looked into your eyes I saw what we should be_

_You may not care anymore but you meant everything to me._

The song was good, really good, it was the style of writing Zander had and there was no doubt in my mind he wrote the song.

"That was The Perfs everyone! I just love that song! It's so catchy!" the radio host said.

Everyone cheered and congratulated them. They've already announced fourteen bands and they were still congratulating them. Molly walked over to me.

"Stevie, I thought you entered this contest? I guess you just aren't good enough, huh?" Molly made it so she had everyone's attention. "I guess you should just stick to what you're best at. A nobody. Stop trying already, it's pitiful."

I packed my things away and was half way across the cafeteria when I heard it. My song was playing on the radio. I turned around and stared at the stereo. MY SONG WAS PLAYING O NTEH RADIO! A huge smile went across my face as I listened to my voice being broadcasted across the country.

_You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me_

_Tell me_

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?  
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated  
Life's like this you  
and you fall and you crawl and you break  
and you take what you get and you turn it into  
honesty  
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it  
no no no

"That was Stevie Baskara everyone! Be sure to look out for her in the competition!"

I didn't even hear the last band name. I felt people slap my back in congrats but I didn't really take in the fact that they were there. I was in shock. All I saw was Molly's smile turn into something I couldn't describe. Disbelief maybe? Fear? I wasn't sure, but all I knew was I was in and now no one could stop me from doing my best to win.


	10. Chapter 10

_Okay, so I know I've been MIA for WAAAAY too long, but i have news! I just got my first job! I'm so excited and I've been doing so much training for it so I haven't had time to write but be assured! I'm still writing! It's just A LOT slower now. Unfortunately I have school and a job to worry about so updates aren't going to be very quick. I'm SO SORRY!_

_I love all my readers so much! I hope you keep reading this story! 3_

_-Fallen1389_

* * *

I texted MusicKing immediately, telling him everything that happened.

_MusicKing: I told you that you could do it!_

_Me: it's all because of you; I don't know how I can thank you!_

_MusicKing: no, this was all you, I just gave you the little extra push that you needed._

The whole week everyone in school came up to me saying how they loved my song. I was glad they weren't ignoring my anymore but I kind of wish that I had a bit more privacy again instead of being bombarded with people every time I come out of a class. Maybe that wasn't the problem though, maybe it's because a small part of me still want my old friends to congratulate me as well but none of them said a word to me. I'm fine with it though; I would just keep my head up and walk on.

Saturday morning I got out of bed with a little happiness in my steps. Today was the day I got to go to the stage where I'll be performing. I put on my regular black tank and jeans and ran out of the house. It was a long subway ride and my nerves and excitement didn't calm down for a second. When I got off the subway I walked around until I saw it, the large building with Dynasty Records Hall with big bold letters. Their actual office was about two blocks away. I walked in and the lady at the front desk gave me a pass with my name on it telling me to enter the elevator to the third floor.

While in the elevator I suddenly felt self-conscious. Everything here seemed so big and shiny. I felt like even touching the shiny reflective elevator walls was wrong. I heard the elevator sound and cautiously stepped out. I looked around for the lounge room the women told me to go to. I turned a corner and saw a large group of teenagers sitting on couches looking slightly nervous but excited at the same time. I walked in and everyone said hi. I gave them a smile but when I looked around the room there they were, The Perfs. Molly gave me her usual I own you smile and I just sat down on a chair.

A man came walking in. He looked like he just got out of bed wearing his sweatpants and shirt. His brown hair was a mess but he walked in with a light in his eyes. "Good morning guys! I'm Adam" he was cheery too. "So! Today I'm just going to explain a few things for you. Doesn't matter where you live in the country, you will all now be living in one big house together and even if you get eliminated you have a choice of staying in the house until the final show." I groaned and subtly looked over at Molly. She didn't look pleased about the news either. "Every week the judges will give you a new challenge which I can't give any hints about. You will have a one week to practice each performance where you will try your best to impress the judges. The first show is in five days but this is kind of like a second audition where the sixteen of you will turn into eight. You'll be given coaches throughout the competition and you'll have a studio in this building where you can work in private." As I saw everyone start to get more excited I started to get nervous. "Alright, so follow me and I'll show you where you'll be living."

We walked back outside and there waiting for us was a SUV limo. Everyone screamed in excitement. I was so shocked I couldn't say anything. While everyone climbed in I slowly walked towards the limo. I've never been in one before and I wanted to soak in the moment. When I climbed in the only two seats were beside Zander or another boy whose name I didn't know. I sat next the boy. He smiled at me and I could myself blushing and smiling back. He had nice eyes; green, like emeralds but I couldn't help but compare them to the milky brown of Zanders. We talked for a little and I learned his name was Conner; his band was called bad boyz. I laughed at the name and he laughed along with me. I saw Zander looking over at us but soon looked at Molly tugging at his arm.

We finally arrived at the house and I had no words. It was beautiful. You know those houses that you see on T.V. and you can't help but start imagining your own home to be similar? Yeah, imagine the beauty of that home and multiply it by a million and you'll see this house. We walked in and it was better than anything my mind could imagine. We were shown our own rooms which by the way were HUGE! We were then sent to our "Music room" where will meet up every day before we go onto our own business. It had every instrument I could think of and many people began playing them. Me, I just stayed back still in shock of what was going on. It was like a beautiful dream. By the time we were all don exploring the house it was dark out. We had options. Lots of them; there was a chef in the house who could cook for us or we can use the house car to drive us out. Personally, I just made my own sandwich and went to my room. Before leaving the kitchen I could hear Molly yelling at the chef about her chicken touching her potatoes or something, I just rolled my eyes and left. The room was spacious. It had the basic bed, night stand, and dresser. We had to share two bathrooms upstairs but I didn't mind but then again seeing Molly every morning was a bit of a down side.

I changed into some sleeping clothes and took out my guitar. We had all day to bring everything we'd like to from home. I lightly strummed it humming to myself. I didn't get a chance to text MusicKing until now so I told him about everything that happened and thanked him again because truly and honestly I don't think I'd be here at all if it wasn't for him. It was late so I brushed my teeth before climbing into bed. I stared at the ceiling a little restless and closed my eyes.

I did that for about two hours long after everyone went to bed. I got out and walked around the dark house. The silence was eerily comforting, the first time it was quiet in my life in a long time. I walked out to the living room and sat down on the window seat. I stared out at the city lights thinking about everything that got me to where I am now. I looked back at the house. It seemed so peaceful, the complete opposite of what it was earlier. I leaned my head down against the wall and found my eyes drifting asleep.

The next morning I woke up and took a shower. Everyone was still sleeping so I decided to email MusicKing to update. He didn't reply so I guess he was still sleeping too. In my room I strummed my guitar while I hear the bustling of footsteps around the house. we were soon called for a meeting in the music room. I sat down on a chair and Adam walked in. "Morning! I hope everyone's ready for a full day's of work! Today we're going to meet with some song writers and write your own song!" everyone cheered excitedly. He further explained how it would work and gave us our days with the songwriters. After he left everyone took their own little corner in the room and began brainstorming ideas for their song. I strummed my acoustic humming. My concentration was destroyed by Molly shrieking at Kacy for being off key. I rolled my eyes but Molly continued to break my concentration constantly complaining about something.

"Zander! just write a stupid song, it's what you do for this band!" Molly yelled at Zander.

He looked at her and for second I saw nothing but pure anger in him, something I've never seen before. "Since when were my songs stupid?" he replied. There was a sense of bitterness in his voice.

"Honey, you know I didn't mean it like that. My head hurts and I want to finish this song." someone give her the academy award. Her dripped sweetness and you could see Zander softening up. I rolled my eyes, what a puppy. He continued to reply. I clearly wasn't going to be getting any work done with their bickering so I walked out.

I was sitting in the backyard gazebo looking at the garden. I looked at my paper with nothing on it. The garden was beautiful and I couldn't help but become distracted. I turned around when I heard the wooden steps creak. Zander stood there at the entrance.

I began picking up my things getting ready to leave. "Wait! Please don't." he begged.

I looked at him, and I knew at that moment it was a mistake. He looked upset and bothered, I couldn't help but stay. "I have nothing to say."

"But I do." his eyes begged me to listen, so I did.


	11. Chapter 11

"You have two minutes." I replied averting my eyes.

He sighed and looked down. "I don't know what's going on with me. It seems like everything's been so complicated for the longest time."

I laughed to myself a little. "My life hasn't been easy going lately either."

Guilt washed over his face but I refused to let myself become fooled by it again. "I'm sorry." He said.

"I'm sure." I replied hoping he didn't notice the little waver in my voice.

"I miss you, and how you use to help me with things, like girl problems." I looked at him then. "Molly and I, I don't know who it is but we always argue but I – I don't know what it is. Maybe it's me. I feel like I haven't enjoyed myself in such a long time."

"And what does that have to do with me?" I asked looking at him straight in the eyes, but that's when I saw it. Not that spark of the old Zander that I loved but instead with a plead in the eyes I used to know.

"Can you help me out? I don't know what to do but you always had the best advice. She's really mad right now and I want to make it right with her. I don't think I've ever messed up this badly before." That's not what I was hoping to hear, but I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less.

"Are you kidding me?" I could hear the acid dripping out of my tone. "That's what you want to say?" I couldn't help but be hurt. He looked at me confused. That only made me angrier. "You want my advice? Here it is. Wake up and realize what's right in front of you! Waiting gets tiring and I've got a life time's worth of sleep to catch up on so if you don't mind..." I got up to leave as he looked at me astonished.

"Wait- ?" I cut him off.

"Your two minutes are up." I turned my back to him but when I turned around he was already walking away.

Why are guys so stupid? Why did I have to be the one to fall for him? I knew if it were me I would never treat him and abuse his good heart the way she does, but now that heart isn't the same anymore.

I worked all week on my song and music. I told them I didn't want to work with the songwriters, although I'm sure they're great and all but writing is something that's personal to me and letting others write the song for me or help me didn't feel right, but a part of me knew it was because I always co-wrote my songs with Zander and no one else.

I couldn't stop thinking about him all week. It seemed like he was everywhere. In the music room, in the café when I tried to write there, and with him was always Molly. I finally just stayed in my room for some privacy but I still thought about him. How he came to me for advice and how things would've been different if he was with me, and I realized even though I couldn't stand him right now, a part of me would always want him to be happy, with or without me. I guess he just doesn't see me anymore, no matter what; I'd be just his use to be friend. Even if we were always the ones with the inside jokes I'm forever the person who you talk to but never date, I guess I was just a girl friend but never the girlfriend. It sucks because I know him better than anyone else; I'd do anything for him.

The day of the first eliminations came quickly and I don't know how many times I've rehearsed. I was second last to go, right after the Perfs. Everyone sounded amazing. I could feel myself getting nervous again.

The Perfs were called up and they were amazing.

I took a breath. I imagined myself sitting in my room just strumming my guitar. My phone vibrated. MusicKing texted me.

_MusicKing:_ _Good luck! You've got this. I know you'll be great and I'll be cheering you on the entire show._

I smiled at my phone. Soon my name was called and my nerves came back. I stepped on my stage with my guitar. The first person I saw was Josh Dragger. There he was in person. This just made me more nervous. I took another breath. All the judges were there lined up on a desk. I smiled at them.

"Hi there." Josh greeted.

"Hi." I replied. I probably sounded so stupid.

"What're you going to sing for us today?" he asaked.

I took a breath. "A song that I wrote this week. It's called _You Belong With Me_."

"I heard that you refused to work with our songwriters, why is that?"

I laughed at myself and thought for a long time about how to answer this question. "when you write a song about your own experience do you let other people sing it for you?" I asked.

He looked at me surprised. "I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at."

I looked at him right in the eyes. "When you wrote '_Life's a Climb'_ did you ever picture someone else singing it or was it always you who you imagined behind the mic?"

"Of course it was me. It was my experience, it wouldn't have the same emotion I felt if someone else sang it." He said matter of factly.

"It's the same idea here. If I let someone else write my song for me or even help me it wouldn't make it as personal to me anymore, I feel like it would be their song even if it was my idea, it'd be in their words and how are they to capture what I felt if they never experienced it themselves?" I took a breath not sure if they liked an answer that personal or not.

"I can see what you mean. That's very admirable." I think I saw awe in his eyes but I wasn't sure. "Please begin."

I sat down on the chair with my guitar and started strumming.

_You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset  
She's going off about something that you said  
She doesnt get your humour like I do_

I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night  
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like  
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts  
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers  
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find  
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you  
Been here all along so why can't you see?  
You belong with me  
You belong with me

Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans  
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be  
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself  
Hey isnt this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town  
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down  
You say you find I know you better than that  
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers  
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers  
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find  
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you  
Been here all along so why can't you see?  
You belong with me

Standin by, waiting at your back door  
All this time how could you not know that?  
You belong with me  
You belong with me

Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night  
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry  
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams  
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?  
Been here all along so why can't you see?  
You belong with me

Standing by or waiting at your back door  
All this time how could you not know that  
You belong with me  
You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe  
You belong with me  
You belong with me

No one said anything and at that moment I knew I'd be voted off.

"Thank you." one of them said. I guess that was my dismissal. I walked out into the room with all the other contestants.

I must've looked disappointed because Molly took no time to bring on the insults. "What? Didn't do so well? It's alright; you already knew you'd be cut; now you're exactly where you belong." She laughed a bit at the end. I turned away and sat down by myself. I saw Zander look at me but I only glared back. Adam came running into the room with the camera crew right behind him. Were they video-taping all the performances? I put my head down embarrassed.

"This is the first week of eliminations. I have an envelope with each person who made it through the first week and will move on. In the envelope are your next week assignments and little notes written by the judges from your first performance."

I took a breath as he continued to read off the names. I looked around to see everyone anxious. Four bands were already called. I could feel the room become tenser as everyone leaned in to hear their name being called. The Perfs were called as I let out a breath and deflated. "Stevie Baskara." I looked up with surprise in my eyes. I could see Molly's horrified look as I walked up to grab my envelope. I took a breath and smiled. Adam called the last name. We said our goodbyes to those who didn't make it as they left the building.

I scanned my new competition and noticed I was the only lone singer left. This made me a little nervous but filled me with pride and excitement. I might be here alone but that doesn't mean I'm someone to mess with. I walked up to Molly. "You're right, I'm exactly where I belong." I smirked and walked away ready for my next challenge.


	12. Chapter 12

I got a text from MusicKing.

_MusicKing: just saw everything on T.V.! You were AMAZING!_

_Me: They already televised it?_

_MusicKing: Yup! They're doing all the performances live. They showed who got cut live too. CONGRATS!_

I said thanks and walked into my room. Sitting down on my bed I stared at the letter. Holding my breath I opened the letter. I saw some handwriting.

_Great song! I really love your point of writing your own songs but hopefully you'll take a chance and write with me. Your voice has great tone and is so controlled. You look so natural performing up there and you can see the emotion in the song the way you performed it. I think it was a great idea to perform it acoustic with just the pure raw emotion and beauty of the song. You have to tell me the story behind the song one day._

_Good luck with the competition!_

_Josh Dragger._

I stared at the letter with my eyes wide open. I wasn't sure if I was breathing or not but I was in so much shock I didn't dare take another breath. Josh Dragger just said he wants to work with me! He wants to write songs with me! I let myself freak out for another minute.

I took out another piece of paper from the envelope that had my challenge on it.

_Your challenge for this week:_

_An artist must be able to explore different types of music. Your challenge this week is to transform yourself into a country artist. Country music often tells a story so you must tell a story through your music and lyrics._

I've never done country before… this is going to be a long week.

I woke up the next morning and went down stairs for some breakfast. While I ate my cereal I saw Connor from Bad Boyz bring in the largest stack of pancakes and sit down.

"A little hungry?" I asked.

"Hey! I'm a growing boy. It would be a crime not to use those wonderful chefs." He said taking a bite.

"Well in that case." I reached over and took a pancake.

He laughed swatting my hands away.

"Ew, ever hear of utensils you barbarian?" Molly said walking in with her apple. I just rolled my eyes. "But I guess I shouldn't expect anything less. I mean barbarians can't sing either so it suits you." she walked out.

"Well… she's something." Connor said making a face.

"She goes to my school." I said playing with my cereal. "She can be a little-"

"Bitchy, rude, annoying, insolent?"

"I was going to say mean." I said laughing

"Mean? That's the worst word you could think of? She's been picking on you since day one and that's the word you're thinking of? You my friend are a push over."

I scoffed. "right, whatever you say." I turned around getting ready to work on my new song.

"If you weren't a pushover you would've said something back to me!" he yelled. I pretended I couldn't hear him but I kept thinking in my head, am I a push over?

The rest of the day I worked in the studio with a bunch of crumpled paper everywhere. I looked at the song I had in my notebook and ripped it our again throwing it in a corner.

I was so frustrated I didn't notice someone enter the room.

"Whoa. What happened in here?" a male voice asked.

"I told everyone I wasn't going to work with anyone." I said turning around annoyed. My eyes went wide as I saw Josh Dragger standing there by the doorway.

"Well if you want I can leave." He said turning towards the door.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so damn frustrated." I said leaning back into my chair.

He read my challenge and laughed. "Really? You can't write a song?"

I took a breath and glared at him. "Really? That's what you want to say?"

"Sorry, that's not what I meant. I'm just saying that the song I heard you submit and the one you played acoustically was amazing. I thought this would be easy for you." he gave me a half smile.

I sighed. "I don't know. I thought it'd be easy too but ughh!" he laughed as I waved my notebook in the air. "I keep coming up with crap. I guess I'm just distracted."

"About what?" I looked at him.

"Umm… don't take this the wrong way but I don't really feel like having a heart to heart with someone I don't know…" I said awkwardly.

"No, don't worry. I'm glad you said that. Do you have any idea how many people don't get that just because I'm some celebrity? It's nice to hear someone actually say no to me." I laughed. "How about this, take a break from writing and take a walk with me around the city."

My heart skipped a beat. Josh Dragger just asked me out. "Thanks but no." I'm pretty sure I was becoming crazy but I don't know him and I'm not the type to just jump at any boy who asks me out, even if he is Josh Dragger.

"when I said it was nice to hear someone to say no, I didn't mean this much." He said laughing and grabbing my arm leading me out the studio.

We walked around for hours and to be honest, I was having a really good time. We talked about everything and nothing. He told me about his life growing up. How his mother left and his father was a drunk. He told me how he started with music and how he used it to make money at age ten to survive. He never once pried me about my life, he let me say what I wanted to say and it was nice. We went to a café and he insisted on buying drinks. We sat a little booth talking and laughing.

"Feeling better?" he asked after he finished telling a joke.

I smiled. "Much. Thank you. For everything."

"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't for selfish purposes. I wanted to get to know you." he said smiling softy. "Now I know that your favourite colour's blue, you want to go rock climbing on the Rocky's, and although you didn't say it you don't trust easily and you know more sorrow then you like to put on."

I gave a small smile. "All that from one day with me?"

"What can I say? I'm observant."

"I'm sorry for earlier today in the studio. I was so frustrated and I took it out on you a little." I gave him an apologetic look.

"Hey, it's fine. You were going through something; I understand."

I love how he didn't ask what why I was upset, he'd let me tell him only what I wanted him to know. After today I knew I could trust him and so I told him everything that I've gone through and he just sat there listening never interrupting, just listening. I left out how I felt about Zander and those details but I mainly told him how I felt betrayed by my friends and how Molly treated me. How I was kicked out of my own band and ended with how Connor said I was a push over.

"Stevie, I'm so sorry. You don't deserve any of that." He said taking my hand. "But you are a push over."

That is not what I expected to hear. "What?"

"You let them do all that to you but you've never retaliated!" he said laughing.

"But retaliation is such a bad way to go!"

"Fine, but you could at least defend yourself! Make yourself less of an easy target! You LET her do that to you because you just accept it. You need to show her you're not going to take it, that even though she's being a bitch to you, you're not going to give up. You'll keep pushing forward."

"I – I can't-" I began.

"Don't tell me you can't, because you're here right now AGAINST them. That is the first step showing them you're not going to let them stop you from pursuing music."

"But she's just so-"

"Annoying, infuriating, horrid?" he listed.

"I was going to say mean." I said remembering my conversation from this morning.

"Mean? That's it? You couldn't find a word stronger than that?" he looked at me as if I was crazy.

"Hey, mean can be insulting." I said pointing a finger at him.

"No, it really can't" he replied taking a sip of his coffee.

"Just watch, you can say it isn't all you want but this simple word has as much meaning as any other word." I said picking up my coffee.

"looks like you can stand up for yourself just fine." He said. He raised his mug. "A toast; to surviving and not letting others forget who we are." I raised my mug to his and drank.

Josh dropped me off back at the house and I went to sit in the couch in front of the fire place. I didn't realize I fell asleep until I heard Molly walk into the room with Zander.

"Ew, I thought it might be nice to sit here but I guess this house has _rodents_." She said glaring at me.

I yawned. "Why don't you talk to me when you have something interesting to say?" I walked out towards my room.

"Don't worry; I won't have to say anything once you're eliminated Saturday. People aren't going to vote for a barbarian that can't sing. Maybe I'll vote for you since you won't have any other votes. I'll pay someone to be your number one fan." She said smirking.

I turned to face her. "All you do is try to take me down but you've got to realize by now I'm not leaving because all you are is pathetic and mean." With that I left and walked to my room grabbing a pen and paper scribbling everything jumbled in my head.

Saturday came quickly and to be honest I was nervous. I was third to go before the Perfs but After the Bad Boyz. Connor got off stage and wished me luck. Adam ran on stage. "Next up we have Stevie! Her challenge of the week was to explore genres and play a country. The song she wrote for us today is called _Mean_." I walked onto the stage with my banjo wearing my beige dress, my hair in a braid to the side to try and add to the country effect.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to my number one fan." I looked over at Molly smiling. I strummed the banjo remembering the time I took to create the background track, took a breath and started.

_You, with your words like knives  
And swords and weapons that you use against me  
You have knocked me off my feet again  
Got me feeling like I'm nothing  
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard  
Calling me out when I'm wounded  
You picking on the weaker man_

You can take me down with just one single blow  
But you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides  
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation  
You have pointed out my flaws again  
As if I don't already see them  
I walk with my head down  
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you  
I just wanna feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around  
Somebody made you cold  
But the cycle ends right now  
'Cause you can't lead me down that road  
And you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar  
Talking over a football game  
With that same big loud opinion  
But nobody's listening  
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things  
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing  
But all you are is mean

All you are is mean  
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life  
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

As I said this I couldn't help but look at Molly and her fuming gaze, Connor laughing and shaking his, and Josh with a huge smile on his face laughing with a nod of approval.__

But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so?..

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city (Why you gotta be so?..)  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so?..)  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me (Why you gotta be so?..)  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?

I walked off stage and towards Connor. "Still a push over?"

He laughed and patted me on the back. "Not at all. I'm going to have to use the word 'mean' more often now."

"Not a weak word now is it?" we both laughed as we waited for Adam to announce the next performer. The Perfs were next and their challenge was for everyone to switch roles. Instead of Molly, Zander sang lead and as they performed I couldn't help but stare and get lost in Zander's voice. It was as beautiful as I remembered.

"Earth to Stevie!" Connor said waving his hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, what?" I asked in confusion.

"Man, you guys got it bad." He chuckled to himself.

"What? Who has what bad?"

"You don't think I didn't just see you staring? You guys clearly have history because you avoid them like the plague, and he's always staring at you, you know that?"

What? Zander? "You don't know what you're talking about." I said shaking off his comment but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Zander looks at me?

He put his hands up in surrender. "Whatever you say."


	13. Chapter 13

After all the performances, all the contestants went on stage and Adam announced an all-girls band as the ones going home. He handed us our new envelopes and went back to the house. I took a shower and changed into a pair of sweats. I sat in my bed and opened the envelope.

_Hey again!_

_I can't help but feel like that song was directed at a certain person in a band. Don't think I didn't notice you look at her with that "take that!" look._

_I like your use of the word mean, I take back my comment on it being a weak word. The way you used it made it funny and interesting. _

_Anyways, I know it's only been two days but I'd like to hang out more. _

_Keep up the good work!_

_Josh Dragger._

I laughed a little and took out the other piece of paper

_Your challenge for this week:_

_Many artists have different and try new things. Your job is to create a song and with the help of the company's dance crew, you're going to perform the song while dancing with the crew._

I put the envelope away and sighed. I could think of what I would do tomorrow. I slipped into bed closing my eyes.

Two hours later when everyone was still asleep my eyes were wide open. I was thinking about what Connor had said about Zander and I. Restless; I walked down to the living room and turned on the television. I never actually got to watch myself before so I turned it on to our show.

They showed footage of everyone in the studio with the music producers and writers talking about what they might do and their different challenges. It had footage of me with my mess of paper everywhere. I could feel the blush in my cheeks. The Perf's footage was mainly Molly, no surprise there. It also showed us all in the music room and during dinner. Believe it or not, Connor was right, I caught Zander looking in my general direction a lot with his sad remorseful look. The same one he gave me when we were in the garden. The one I always fall for. I turned off the T.V. immediately. I don't know why but I was… angry. How dare he do this to me? To try and take me back as if everything didn't happen. As if he didn't break my heart. And how could I just fall for it each time? How could he think before that when he called me I would just pick up and let him off the hook so easily after all the crap I've been through?

I ran into my room and wrote it all down until I felt better. After I relaxed a little I found myself falling asleep. I didn't get a lot of sleep though. I woke up at 6:30 and went into the studio messing around with different beats and tracks until I made one that matched the one in my head. I recorded my song and played it back with the track. I added more beats and changed the lyrics a little until I was satisfied. I listened to the final product but never heard the ending because before I knew it I fell asleep right in the studio.

I woke up with someone tapping my shoulder. "Hey, wake up."

I mumbled something but I wasn't 100% sure what. It must've been funny though because the ghost voice laughed. I looked up to look into the eyes on Josh. "What time is it?"

"Just past nine in the morning. Did you sleep in here all night?"

"No, I just finished the song this morning and fell asleep." The words came out in a slur.

"You finished your song already?"

I nodded my head. "I had… inspiration. Now I just need to choreograph the dance."

"Can I hear it?" I nodded my head and soon I heard my song playing. "This is amazing. I love the song. Is it about anyone in particular?" I instantly thought about Zander.

I shook my head "Just someone I used to know." the words barely came out, I wasn't even sure if he understood what I said.

He grabbed my arm and helped me up. "Come on, I'm taking you to get some coffee. You need some caffeine in your system."

We walked to the café again and I insisted on paying this time. We sat down and the instant I took a sip I felt better.

"So, you said you needed to work on the choreography?"

"Yeah, that's my challenge. To create a song and add choreography."

He drank his drink and thought for a long time. He puts his drink down and smiled at me. "Maybe I could help?"

I put my coffee down. "You're allowed to help me?"

He laughed as if it was a dumb question. "Of course! We're here to help you, not just judge you and decide who moves on and who doesn't. So you want me to?"

"Yes, definitely! I'm going to need all the help I can get!"

"How much dance experience do you have?" he asked putting one eye brow up. I had to admit it was kind of cute.

I thought about the question. "A little."

"A little?"

"If you count 5 years of ballet and 4 years of jazz a little." I said laughing as his mouth and eyes went wide. "A little."

After our coffees we went to the dance studio. Josh was an amazing dancer. He let the music just flow right through him and it was definitely something to look at. His eyes met mine he motioned for me to join him. I shook my head so he grabbed my hand and let myself feel the music. Soon we were both dancing, competing to see who could out one another. When the music ended we were both out of breath.

"So, it seems you do know a little something about dance." He said.

"A little." I said again.

He played my song. "Alright, now let's get down to business." We both worked all day trying to figure out the best choreography for the song. By the end of the day it was a little rough but at the rate we're going, the dance was definitely going to be amazing.

"Thanks for that." I said hugging him. It was weird to think I was hugging Josh Dragger but at the same time kind of natural. He made me feel comfortable. "I know it'll be amazing for Saturday."

"Hey, no problem, I love helping out." He said smiling and walking me back to the house. He walked me to the front door, when I opened it I saw Molly and Zander in the front foyer. They both looked up at me and Josh as I entered. "Hey, I'll catch you later." He hugged me and walked away. I turned around to see Molly glaring and Zander just standing there staring. Well screw them. I walked up to my room and took a quick shower. The instant the water hit me I felt more relaxed. When I was finally ready for bed I gave myself the good night's rest I deserved.

We practiced for days. I met the crew and they were amazing. When I showed them the dance they all loved it. The first time we nailed the whole thing it was still a little rough but we were getting better every day. Josh even came by a few times to help out. By Friday night we were all ready.

Saturday came and I was the last to go. After everyone performed I went on with all the dancers. "This is Stevie with her original song; _Break My Heart._" He ran off the stage and the music started.

_Broken glass  
Broken heart  
There's a picture of you laying on the floor  
Empty space on the wall  
While I am staring at  
Wishing that you'd call  
Cause every time you call me up  
I'm reminded of the pain you caused  
Can't move on it's so hard  
When you keep on coming back for more_

__I smiled at the dancers and they smiled back. We flowed to the music letting our body remember the steps and take control.

_[Chorus:]  
It's time for me to say  
I know you're only going to break my heart  
You're getting in the way  
I should've seen this coming right from the start  
So baby don't come around anymore  
Or you'll be standing outside my front door  
So listen as I say  
Baby I'm tearing us apart  
Cause you're only going to break my heart  
I'm tearing us apart  
You're only going to break my heart  
I'm tearing us apart_

Everyday it's the same I keep seeing you  
I keep hearing your name  
And I know that one day  
I'll get over you and I'll be ok  
But every time you call me up  
I'm reminded of all the pain you caused  
Can't move on, it's so hard  
When you keep on coming back for more

I couldn't help but look at Zander and try to see his reaction. His face was neutral.

_[Chorus:]  
It's time for me to say  
I know you're only going to break my heart  
You're getting in the way  
I should've seen this coming right from the start  
So baby don't come around anymore  
Or you'll be standing outside my front door  
So listen as I say  
Baby I'm tearing us apart  
Cause you're only going to break my heart_

Someday, somehow I might say  
These words aloud  
And I'll make you see what you're doing to me isn't right  
But not right now

[Chorus:]  
It's time for me to say  
I know you're only going to break my heart  
You're getting in the way  
I should've see this coming right from the start  
So baby don't come around anymore  
Or you'll be standing outside my front door  
So listen as I say  
Baby I'm tearing us apart  
Cause you're only gonna break my heart  
You're only gonna break my heart  
You're only gonna break my heart

Everyone cheered when we finished. I hugged all the dancers and thanked them. We walked off the stage and got ready to hear the final news. Adam called us back onto the stage and announced the rock group as the elimination. "Next week we're going to be doing duets. A person from each band will be paired with another."

I prayed that I'd be partnered with Connor. He looked over at me and I knew he wanted the same thing too.

"Each pair is going to work together to write a song and perform it together. So the moment each contestant is waiting for. The pairs are… Stevie Baskara…" please be Connor I begged. "… and Zander from The Perfs." I felt numb. I looked at Josh and his face seemed to be a little ridged too. I couldn't hear the other pairings. I just stood there as I heard the crowd applause. I looked over at The Perfs and they all looked stunned and worried. I walked off stage and went straight to the house. I needed time to think.


	14. Chapter 14

Why? Why him out of everybody? Someone must be trolling me right now. I was waiting for a camera to jump out of my closet and yell "gotcha!" but no one did. This was reality and I was really screwed.

I had trouble falling asleep that night but I when I woke up I wish I didn't. Today would be the first day working with him and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. I took my shower and got dressed taking as much time as possible hoping maybe, just maybe, Zander would leave the house but when I went downstairs there he was, sitting in the music room strumming his guitar with paper laid out in front of him.

He looked up and saw me but I just turned away into the kitchen. I grabbed a bagel and put it into the toaster. I heard someone walk in but it wasn't hard to guess who. I wish this bagel would hurry up.

"So, do you want to work in here or would you rather in the music room? No one's home right now so it'd be quiet." Zander said putting everything down on the table.

"What? Molly's not here to check up on you every ten minutes?" I retorted. "Finally decided to stop draping herself all over you?"

I didn't look up to see his reaction. I heard him sigh before replying. "She's out shopping with the other girls for the day and everyone else went to the studio to get to know each other."

"Well it's a good thing I know you so well now isn't it?" My bagel finally popped up, I grabbed it along with some butter. I pretended to be entrance by me smearing butter over my bagel as he talked, but he was persistent. He waited until I was done. I took a bite and stared at him.

"Stevie, I know you really don't want to work with me but you and I both want to stay in this competition. So we need to work together on this."

Suddenly I wasn't as hungry anymore. He was right, if I wanted to stay and shove it in Molly's face we needed to work together on this. I left the bagel on the table and walked with him into the music room. I grabbed my guitar and started strumming random tunes. He started strumming along and soon we started strumming this repetitive tune not knowing what words to write. I don't know how long we were just sitting there strumming but I did know one thing, we got nothing done. I just stared at my guitar not knowing what to say until I heard his voice singing to words I didn't know.

"Finally I'm forced to face the truth, no matter what I say I'm not over you." he was singing so quietly I almost didn't hear it.

"What?" I asked. I wasn't sure why but his words hit a nerve.

He stopped strumming and looked up at me. His eyes grew wide as if he just remembered I was there. "Nothing, just some lyrics I thought would sound good." I let out a breath. I spent so much time ignoring him I couldn't let myself think those lyrics meant something more.

"Oh." Is all I could think of to say. "Okay, let's build on it." we continued strumming. I let myself get lost in the music and was put into a deep world of thought. I thought of Zander and his words, I thought of everything that happened between us, and I thought of words I was scared to say. In my thoughts I realized that if he asked me how I was doing I'd say I'm doing just fine, I would lie and say that you're not on my mind.

"That's good." His voice snapped me out of my trance. Turns out I said the last part out loud. "I like that, he continued strumming and started singing again "but I go out and I sit down at a table set for two, see that I'm really missing you."

We both stopped strumming and looked at each other, neither of us looking away. I was the one to turn away. "I think it sounds good but we should cut out the last part. So instead of 'see that I'm really missing you' I think we should put the first part you sang and do 'table set for two, and finally I'm forced to face the truth.' It flows better." He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, the same way we used to. We continued strumming finding words for the verses. We talked and laugh about everything and nothing. I actually almost forgot about what happened. Almost.

"Steves, I've really missed this." He said. That's what snapped me out of it. I really missed it too. "You know, maybe after this you could join back up with us, it just hasn't been the same without you."

I stopped strumming and only stared at him. "I can't believe you." I said. "What makes you think I want to rejoin a band that kicked me out for some new girl, didn't defend after months of torture, ignored me until they realized I was in the same competition they were in, and made me go through a living hell every step of the way?" I took a breath and packed up my things. "Gravity 5 used to be family, but no family would ever do this to me, you guys aren't the Gravity 5 I used to love spending time with, now you're just… you're all just like her." I began walking to my room. "We figured out the chorus, you take the first verse and I'll take the second. We'll use the chorus as the bridge and I'll produce the music, send it to you later so you can match it all up. This way we minimize the amount of time we see each other."

As I walked up the stairs I couldn't help but wish he would chase after me, that he'd take me by the shoulders, turn me around and have an explanation that was worth it all, but the instant I walked into my room and closed that door, I knew he wasn't going to.

I spent that night writing the rest of the song, I re-read the lyrics we've already written and couldn't help but throw the paper away, in a sense they were true, the lyrics I wrote were all true. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know how much I missed him too. I spent my time on my computer producing the track to the song and sent it to him. I let myself fall on my bed and stare at the ceiling. What am I doing? I asked myself this probably five times before closing my eyes into an endless sleep.

The day finally came. The competition. Zander and I only met up once more to practice the harmonies on the chorus but asides from that we had no idea what our song would sound like, to be honest I was a little worried about what he wrote, I mean for all I know he could've completely bashed me in his lyrics.

"Next up for us is Zander from The Perfs, and our last standing solo artist, Stevie!" Adam announced. We both walked onto the stage looking at each other. We each took a one of the two microphone stands there on the stage and our faces were neutral. I looked down hearing the beats being counted in my ear piece. Soon the music began and Zander started singing.

_Dreams, that's where I have to go  
To see your beautiful face anymore  
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio_

I looked at him and but he only stared into the crowd with a look of sadness. I was close to crying right then and there. I couldn't help but feel like this was written for me but I refused to let myself believe it. I was hurt, how could he do this in front of everyone, in front of me? At a time like this?

_Hope, hope there's a conversation  
We both admit we had it good  
But until then it's alienation, I know  
That much is understood  
And I realize_

We sang the chorus together.__

[Chorus:]  
If you ask me how I'm doing  
I would say I'm doing just fine  
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind  
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two  
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,  
No matter what I say I'm not over you, not over you

I took a breath before singing my part. Closing my eyes imagining I was singing to him and him alone._  
Damn, damn boy, you do it well  
And I thought you were innocent  
Took this heart and put it through hell  
But still you're magnificent_

I looked at him and saw him looking at me as well, a look of apologies and remorse.

_I, I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me  
I turn around and I'm back in the game  
Even better than the old me  
But I'm not even close without you_

[Chorus:]  
If you ask me how I'm doing  
I would say I'm doing just fine  
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind  
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two  
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,  
No matter what I say I'm not over you  
Not over you  
Not over you  
Not over you

On that last note I noticed Zander and I spent the entire song staring at each other, like we were singing it to one another. I quickly got off the stage and into a small corner to let the tears fall. I didn't know what was happening anymore, I didn't want to let him back into my life but at the same time I did.

Soon they were about to announce the eliminations. I walked back onto the stage and Adam announced Me, The Perfs, Connor/Bad Boyz, and a rapper to be the last four remaining artists. We said our goodbyes to the other two groups and went back to the house.

I took a shower trying to wash off everything from tonight and went to bed trying to forget Zander and concentrate on winning.


End file.
